Ms. Chee Siok Chin has patiently and courageously spread the word around the world about human rights abuses taking place in Singapore, and finally the world has responded loud and clear. Said a spokesman for the World Democrats, “We don’t really care what happens over there.” Amnesty International said that they just like to report about so-called “abuses” but don’t actually ever do anything about them. “We just want to collect donations from our members by writing stories of torture and abuse, but we don’t really want to help. If we solved the human rights problems, then there would be nothing left for us to do.” Dismayed, Ms. Chee has also approached the European Parliament, which responded by stating, “We don’t give a shit about human rights in Singapore.” The US Embassy furthered that they don’t “fucking care” about Singapore, after some initial confusion about where Singapore was located on a world map. The UN Human Rights Commission also expressed hope that human rights problems in Singapore would continue. “We earn high salaries, so we need human rights abusers like Singapore to keep us employed.” PM Lee Hsien Loong also jumped into the fray, stating that Singapore law prohibits foreigners from caring about Singapore, and any foreigner found interfering or “caring”, would be denied entry, sued, fined, caned, imprisoned, or deported. He also added that neither he nor his family members actually care about Singapore either.