Gays threaten to increase recruitment over sex law revisions

Singapore has decided to scrap Section 377 of its penal code, which currently bans penile-vaginal sex in Singapore. (See Singapore Donkey’s related Analysis of 377.) However, Section 377A bans only gay sex and will not be scrapped. Because Singapore is, by and large, a conservative country, lesbian sex is currently allowed. “The problem,” PM Lee explained, “is that Singapore is, by and large, a gay-hating country of mainly homophobic bigots. We need to make sure that their views are incorporated into our penal code.” As such, many conservative and religious persons have been consulted in the drafting of the new law. Section 377 currently provides life imprisonment for gays, while Section 377A provides for two-year imprisonment. Because Section 377 will be repealed (it currently discriminates against straight Singaporeans who like anal sex, not just gay people), it must be replaced with some kind of law that punishes homosexual men extra. The new, replacement Section 377 will reportedly proscribe stoning as the preferred method of punishment for gays. “Religious freedom is very important in Singapore. We tried to find some sort of punishment for gay people that would be acceptable to both Christians and Muslims. Since both the Bible and the Quran provide for stoning and/or execution of homosexuals, we’ve settled on stoning as an acceptable alternative to life imprisonment. After all, these religious texts are thousands of years old, so the traditional way must be the right way. This will also bring Singapore’s penal code in line with that of other modern nations, including Iran and Zimbabwe.”

The local gay community has reacted with strong protest, threatening to start recruiting more gay members from the straight population. Given how much freedom and tolerance gay people have in Singapore, the lifestyle beckons. Even some MPs may be recruited! This has many PAP ministers worried. Dr. Balaji Sadasivan (because of his nicely-decorated office) and Mr. Vivian Balakrishnan (because of his feminine name) are seen as especially vulnerable to conversion. Gays also plan to target the whole staff of the Public Entertainment Licensing Unit and the Singapore Police Force for active recruitment. They believe that with pressure and prayer, straight civil servants in these units can readily convert to gay. Meanwhile, some gay activists also blamed the straight people of Singapore for having so many gay babies in the first place, causing this problem.

Reports of Singapore’s sex law revision have caused furor abroad, with protests in the United States and Europe over Singapore’s plans to stone gay men to death. PM Lee assured the Westerners that “Singapore is not homophobic” and the Westerners went back home because PM Lee’s English sounds so soothing and refined.

2 Responses to Gays threaten to increase recruitment over sex law revisions

  1. David Linehan says:

    Having had the fortune to date many gay Singaporean men over the past 15-20 years, I’ve come to learn that perhaps the most fertile ground for recruitment might be within the ranks of the Army. And, as the world knows, there’s nothing sexier than a man in uniform!!!!

  2. […] it is not a genetic phenomenon. Churches in Singapore support the Government’s decision to retain Section 377A, which proscribes homosexuality with caning and imprisonment. To prevent sea anemones housed at the […]

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