Mah Bow Tan falls into Straits of Johor after mistakenly thinking that Singapore is landlocked

Today National Development Minister Mah Bow Tan announced that to balance development and conservatism, he plans to start a “Forest of Giants” project on the causeway joining Singapore and Malaysia.  Being the first day, he got off to a good start by singlehandedly planting 3 giant trees (still saplings) in the dirt right at the edge of the causeway.  Mr. Mah was giving a press conference while shoveling dirt and stated as reported by Channel News Asia that “…we are a very small city state, landlocked; development is important for us…” and, right after he mentioned the word “landlocked”, he stepped forward to plant tree number 4 and fell into the Straits of Johor. “I got my pants wet and dirty,” Mah reported after being fished out of the waters. Apparently the Minister, in his zeal to plant additional giant trees, forgot that Singapore was surrounded by water and not land. The good news is that he did not drift over to the Malaysian side during his time in the water. After his pants dried, he continued planting trees.

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9 Responses to Mah Bow Tan falls into Straits of Johor after mistakenly thinking that Singapore is landlocked

  1. [...] Discourse – Singapore Donkey: Mah Bow Tan falls into Straits of Johor after mistakenly thinking that Singapore is landlocked – Zach’s Thought Blot: A Foolish Fiasco – TOC: Here to provide a listening ear – My Thoughts: [...]

  2. is it possible? says:

    I agree. Sinkapoor is landlocked
    by water all around us.

  3. Tan Ah Kow says:

    i thought WKS said Singapore got long coastline?

  4. That's how Mas Selamat 'could' escape!!! says:

    And ‘why’ hairy puppies bought like FIVE submarines to ‘MAKE SURE’ no more “Dangerous Terrorist” (WKS words) can ever escape!!!

    MS still enjoying life in Johore state???

  5. harry says:

    I think he got confused that SG was Switzerland or is it Switzerland is SG. Now I am confused, maybe Singaporeans now speak fench, german, italian and romanish which is like hokkien spoken by the few in CH.

  6. morgaine says:

    Hi
    Keep on writing!! I’m looking forward to reading more of your work.

  7. Bitter Singaporean says:

    I wonder what will happen if we bring on the wisdom of PAPies to this matter…of N.Korea attacking S.Korea

    1) “it is an honest mistake, let’s move on”

    2) “this is a freak incident that happens once in 60 years (since Korean war)”

    3) “just because there is public curiosity and outcry, does not mean the public should know”

    4) “Singaporeans need artillery shells in their stupid animal hides”

    5) “Two of our citizens died? That is PEANUTS!”

    5) “Some of our citizens were killed by Commies North Koreans. That is exactly why we need MORE foreigners to come in, so I suggest we give the North Koreans citizenship. We need foreign talent like them who can kill so well”

    6) “If a lame and limping man can run away from our custody, why can’t the 2 able men run away from the artillery shots? It is not our fault at all”

    7) “The public was not vigilant enough to report the incident to us, that is why we did not know that our country was attacked.”

    8 ) “We cannot take matters into our own hands. Instead, our foreign office will ask North Korea to extradite those soldiers responsible to us knowing full well we will be ignored. But we have full trust that N. Korea will charge their own men for knocking down our citizens with their artillery shells”

    9 ) “If only we could have handcuffed all the people on the island and moved them further away, there would not by any causalities”

    10 ) “We are not a country. We are NOT A COUNTRY. We are only half of a country or only a city. Hence, this is not a war, only an accident like how one of our super expensive helicopters crash landed all by itself. We will talk to the manufacturers of the artillery shells about this”

    11 ) “2 men killed by North Koreans and 1 woman tourist killed a few years ago may seem a lot, but if you consider the country’s births from 1950 till now, that means that temas…ahem South Korea actually reaped profit in population terms. The defense chief will ‘resign’, then we’ll get an angmo to wayang, then the ex-defense chief will be back again.”

    12 ) “As president, I must share my epiphany after a “round the world” at tax payers’ expense that times are changing, we need to be ….(thousand words)…Hence I cannot pardon 2 convicts on the death row to make up for the 2 deaths, even though they are young boys. I can’t do anything apart from shaking hands and showing up for NDP unless it affects my multi-million ’salary’. Unfortunately, my silence cannot last another term, DO YOU THINK I WILL LIVE FOREVER?”

    13 ) “As the police, we cannot arrest those murderous North Koreans who burnt our citizens. Our only responsibility is to arrest those who threaten to burn our eminent politicians online regardless of their actual intentions.”

    14 ) “We need to get our national newspapers to change the headlines. Instead of writing ‘2 citizens killed by N.Koreans’, we should write ‘Less than 3 citizens killed by N.Koreans’. Then we make the article small and add many articles to make us look good on the same page.”

    15) “We will get a North Korean called Gou Liang to interview the families of the deceased asking them why they lost their loved ones and help the dead men retrain and be alive again. (Inspiration from Singapore’s TV show to ‘help’ unemployed locals)

    16) “This is why I say we need to be cheaper, faster and betterer. If they run faster, they will not die. If their lives were cheaper, we will have not qualms with their death. Join us at FCUK-U-C and you will see what zorro means”

    17) “What is the problem with dying from artillery shells. S. Koreans are too fussy. Furthermore the hike in death toll is not due to foreigners, but because of local people who hog a place near S.korea and N.korea at the same time”

    18) “If only I learned from Li Con U. He can call his peers commies and jail them indefinitely but I let real commies rule like gods in N Korean.”

    19) “Don’t worry. We have enough soldiers for war. more than 90% of primary school kids love our country and are willing to defend it. Foreigners can go back to their native countries while we will give C4 for the kids to strap to their bodies while their run screaming and charging to the North. After we punish the north for their atrocities, foreigners can come back to claim their flats and condos.”

    Any other contributors like me who stand in awe of the PAPies’ wisdom???

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