Singapore props up Burma with old board

During Foreign Minister George Yeo’s recent trip to Burma (also known as Myanmar), he noted that it was on the verge of collapse, and had taken along an old board from his residence. “This will hold it up for awhile.” Ruled by a non-democratic military junta, most countries would welcome a collapse of the dictatorship and a return to power of lawfully-elected democracy advocate and Nobel prize winner Aung San Suu Kyi, currently under house arrest. Singapore, however, does not welcome such a democratic transition. PM Lee has taken a personal interest in the plight of the Burmese people, and firmly believes that the military junta is the best option for them. “These democracy advocates are very troublesome,” he said. PM Lee has placed Singaporean democracy advocates under arrest from time to time, and so fully understands the threat that they pose to peaceful societies like Singapore’s and Myanmar’s.

Although Mr. Yeo’s board is expected to keep Burma propped up for at least a year, a longer term solution is necessary to shore up Burma’s foundations. It turns out that the main problem is agricultural. “There is an erosion problem,” Mr. Yeo reported. Therefore, he has penned a treaty allowing Singapore agriculture interests to help plant strong plants, such as hemp, marijuana, and coca, to hold the nation together. “This is a good solution for both Singapore and Myanmar,” said Mr. Yeo.